GUEST WRITER DEBRA MCNINCH
If you have a spiritual wanderer in your life, you know the struggles that parents face watching their children turn away from the Lord. Getting out of bed becomes a chore. Fear, heartache, loss, and a big one, shame is the blanket you wear daily. Shame is the hardest area because it is where Satan gets us stuck. When we are stuck in shame, we are unable to see God and his hand working in our situations. It keeps us in the pit of pain, unable to find a way out. I know because I, too, have been there. How could my family turn out like it did? Is it my fault? It must be my fault. God must hate me. These are lies that I have believed, and you too have believed perhaps. To get past the enemy’s whispers, we must cast down every thought.
In the Garden of Eden, Satan whispered three words to deceive Eve, “Are you sure?” It was that doubt planted in a mind that allowed a perfect environment to turn to the fall of man and our need for a savior. Satan is whispering the same thing to us today. Are you sure God does not blame you? He puts just enough doubt in our minds to paralyze us with guilt so we cannot move forward. If he can keep us in shame mode, we will not get to fight mode!
I know in my soul that the doubt my heart held created a distance between me and the Lord. I could not have the close fellowship I once enjoyed with my savior because I held the knowledge that Satan tattooed on my heart… “It is all your fault.” I knew I had to find a way out of this shame and lay aside these thoughts and run to God and his perfect peace.
If you, too, are stuck in the shame and guilt of having a prodigal, unable to move forward, I want to give you three simple steps to hand your emotions over to the Lord and learn to let go and let God. I call this my GAS method. If you want to go somewhere in your car, you are going to need gas. The same is true when we are stuck in pain and shame, unable to move forward. There is a way for God to set you free. You need spiritual Gas.
1. Go. Go to the Altar.
If you are struggling with shame and guilt, God is inviting you to lay that down today. He is offering you peace and forgiveness in all areas—even parenting failures. Going to the altar is a step forward. Pray and confess your weakness and repent of the known things where you made mistakes within your parenting journey. Ask him to take the crumbs of your parenting and turn them into something beautiful. He is longing to take this from you and give you his peace.
2. Ask. Ask your child for forgiveness.
If there are known things you need to ask forgiveness for, do it today. Be honest with your parenting mistakes. Repent for any way you did not manage something well or in ways you feel you did not lead them closer to Christ. If you do not have contact with your child, write a letter and mail it or put it up to give to them one day. Get out what you need to repent for
and lay it at the feet of Jesus to start the healing process.
3. Stand.
The third step in letting go of shame and hurt is to stand. In Ephesians 6, we read that to withstand every attack of the devil, we need to put on the whole armor of God. My favorite part is the word stand in verses 13–14. “Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore.”
There are two stands. The first one requires you to put on the armor. If your hands (and heart) are full of hurt and shame, you will not have the strength to put on God’s weapons of warfare. We must empty ourselves and prepare for this battle we are in for our children. It requires action.
The second stand requires faith—faith that God is working in our lives and in the lives of our children. It requires you not to try to handle it but to hand it over. It requires an empty heart and hands lifted high in praise. It requires faith that if you do everything God is asking you to do, he will fight this battle for you.
Oh, mama! He is working to free you as much as he is working to free your child. Give your situation the GAS it needs today to move forward out of the traps of the enemy and into the arms of Jesus.
If you are a parent of a prodigal, join us at www.battlecrymoms.com or battlecrydads.com
NO ONE FIGHTS ALONE!
Debra McNinch
Founder of BATTLECRYMOMS
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